G-Wizz
My apologies for taking an extended hiatus from posting. While lots seems to be happing in the intertwined world of cars and bicycles, I haven’t had anything original to add to the discussions going on. Am I losing my touch or is everyone else posting faster than I can think?
I had some vacation time to burn before it expired at the end of March, so my wife booked us a long weekend at the White Barn Inn in Kennebunk, Maine. A place full of rustic luxury and unparalleled service. Seriously. Employees knew our names without asking. Our room was stocked with complimentary local snacks. Coffee, house squeezed orange juice, and pastries were delivered to our room every morning. And we were treated warm cookies for the ride home while we checked out. Not bad, right? It’s the perfect place to shut your cell phone off and disappear for a few days.
Oh, and they have a fleet of new Mercedes to test drive whenever you like. We’re talking a GLS Maybach, an E-Class Cabriolet, whatever the EQS is, and…a freaking China Blue G63 AMG.
Should I have taken more and better pictures? Yes. But after a Target run, my daughter and wife were turning into hangry Gremlins.
After checking that I actually had a license, the staff overlooked that I drive a pedestrian 2010 ML350 Diesel that probably needs a new timing chain and they tossed me the key to the G-Wagen. A car with a base brice of $186,100. The sexy China Blue paint cladding it's boxy body is a $6,500 up charge. Yikes. Add in the ventilated seats and a few other goodies this car had and the price clocks in a hair under $200,000. It's easily the most expensive car I’ve ever driven. Hilariously, there’s a lot more boxes on the build sheet that could have been checked. The Mercedes web site even states "not all options are advertised", which makes me wonder exactly what's available off the menu.
After a few hours behind the wheel, here is my quick review: If you know what a G63 AMG is, you’re going to love it. I promise. If you have no idea what a G63 AMG is, you’re probably going to hate it. But that doesn’t mean you’re missing out.
An off-road oriented muscle SUV with a 577 horsepower, bi-turbo V8 has a limited audience and there's no shame in not being a part of it. It's kinda like being a fan of Rush, it's genius but a bit weird...In a good way. If that sounds like your favorite flavor of cool, then get in line and be patient. The word on the street is that in order to get in on this insanity, you already need to have a 3 year old G-Wagen to trade in, be willing to pay sticker, and then be willing to wait your damn turn. That limited audience is pretty darn loyal, I guess.
It’s been 20 years since I put any work in on a Mercedes Benz showroom. Back in 2004, the G-Class had essentially been the same car since 1991 and was under constant threat of being discontinued. The 2005 “Grand Edition” was to be the G-Class's swan song…until it wasn’t. Confused? So was everyone else, but from 1990 to 2018 a G-Wagen was more or less the same car.
The "old" versus the "new" G-Class. You'd be forgiven for thinking Mercedes did a facelift and called it a day. Photo Credit: Edmunds and Autoweek
2019 marked the introduction of the “new” G-Class. What was new? Revolutionary technology like rack and pinion steering, independent front suspension, and considerations for pedestrian impacts! Yes, G-Wagens are basically primitive barns on wheels with a enough horsepower to make and a Dodge Hellcat blush. Despite having the same chassis code, W463, as the old G-Class, the old and the new cars only share three parts: the headlight washer nozzles, the door handles, and the spare tire cover.
On the back roads, I flipped the switch to turn off the exhaust muffling and stood on the gas pedal with my Redwing boot. “Weeeeee”, my 17 month old said, seemingly sarcastically, from the back as the G-Wagen began to sing. My wife was too busy figuring out how how to get to Target to care about the loud wind noises at 40 MPH, but was wildly enthusiastic about the heated and cooled cupholders. While she ran inside for baby wipes, I picked out a massaging seat program in the menu and realized I’m part of the informed minority who know that the Mercedes G-Class is undeniably cool.
Cool enough for me to over look the small trunk, pathetic fuel economy, and the fact that I needed to lift my daughter practically over my head in order to thread her through the rear door opening and into her rear facing car seat. So cool, in fact, that I need to find a way to get my hands on one. I just need to come up with the money.
When my wife hopped back in, she paid absolutely no attention to the fact that I had changed the ambient mood lighting. Or that the car had sat "idling" with the engine shut off. Allowing for less emissions but also running the heat so she would be treated to exactly the same interior temperature as when she got out. I'll let you decide if thats a good or a bad thing, especially when you remember you can't bring a base G63 home for less than $200,000 once Uncle Sam gets his palm greased.
In a world where a twenty year old, clapped out G-Wagen with milage well into the six digit range can still fetch $30,000, I’m not sure a new or a used G-Wagen will be parked in my driveway anytime soon. And for me, a member of the G-Wagen loving minority, thats' very painful.
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