I Want to Go Schwimmen

I Want to Go Schwimmen
President Lyndon B. Johnson, captaining his Amphicar. Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Everyone has a bucket list.  I’m sure it’s quite a shocker that mine can be sorted into two distinct categories: car stuff and bike stuff.  Naturally there’s epic items to check off, like ride up Mauna Kea and do a hot lap of the Nurburgring Nordschleife.  Others are pretty trivial in comparison.  For example, a few years back a DeLorean came into my parts store in need of a widget of some kind.  The car caused quite a stir in the parking lot and the owner graciously let us all have a look inside.  Opening and closing that iconic gullwing door checked item #28 off my bucket list.  Drive a DeLorean?  Meh…I know they’re unreliable, slow, and pretty mundane.  So mundane in fact, that producers of Back to the Future dubbed the sound of a Porsche 928 over the Time Machine to make it sound awesome.  Opening and closing that door was next level satisfying.  So satisfying I actually did it a few times!  Don’t judge me unless you’ve done it for yourself.

Contrary to what the movie leads you to believe, a DeLorean's doors go up and down silently. That sexy rumble you hear when Marty hits the gas? Thats the sound of a Porsche 928. Photo Credit: Hagerty

This week I was sent to Orlando, Florida for a trade show.  The days were the typical sales rep schmooze fests followed up by me spending lots of company money on their wares.  My evenings were spent tickling a co-worker's Disney fetish by going out to dinner at different Disney Springs restaurants.  One such night, while sucking down a Heineken 0.0 at the Rainforest Cafe's bar, nestled on the shore of Lake Buena Vista, I was shocked to see the opportunity to check bucket list item #17 off.  

It was dark, I was tired, and a nacho induced food coma was creeping in, but I saw the unmistakable silhouette of an Amphicar cruising the lake in the distance.  What the heck?! I snapped a few pictures thinking nobody would believe me.  Desperate for confirmation, I shot a text message to a Disney loving friend from high school and within minutes my suspicions were confirmed.  Disney owns their own fleet of Amphicars and takes guests on tours of Lake Buena Vista with them.

You may have heard of an Amphicar, but you’ve probably never seen one in action. I hadn’t and I’m a major car nerd.  Before this week I’d only seen two in the wild and both were parked. The Amphicar “Model 770” was a product, of all places, the Fatherland.  For reasons I’m unable to wrap my head around, the Germans had a thing for building small amphibious vehicles during WWII.  A precursor to the Amphicar, the Volkswagen Schwimmwagen, was produced between 1942 and 1944. An estimated 15,000 were cranked out in that short time.  Never heard of a Schwimmwagen? That's because Volkswagen doesn’t talk about what they were up to between 1937 and 1945.  In 1960 the amphibious car itch needed scratching again in Germany and the Amphicar Model 770 was born.  Were there any other Amphicar models besides the 770?  Of course not!  After 5 years and 3,878 units, everyone realized amphibious cars are mediocre cars and awful boats. An estimated 400 Amphicars survive.   

Amphicars were out produced by Schwimmwagens nearly 5 to 1. The Nazi's lost the war so Amphicars are far easier to find. Good luck though. Photo Credit: Goodwood

Despite a list of bad design ideas like a Triumph engine, dual exposed propellers, and being a freaking floating car, the Amphicar is surprisingly seaworthy.  Two crossed (“swam” in Amphicar aficionado lingo, seriously) the English channel in 1965.  Another two successfully navigated the Yukon River in Alaska.  Even though they’re just meh in and out of the water, Amphicars are top shelf automotive fun.  Which is why they fetch eye watering prices at auction and why Disney can charge $6.25 per minute for a swim in one.    

The doors are water tight and propellers are engaged with the pull of a lever. The front wheels act as rudders. It's insane, but oh so cool.

I decided against sprinting to The Boathouse Landing and plunking down $125 for a cruise that night.  I still need to hide my weirdness around co-workers since this is a semi-new job for me.  While Disney advertises that their Amphicars are the only ones in the world to take people on tours, their claim is as fictional as Mickey Mouse.  Naples, Maine is home to Amphicar Rides and is conveniently close to my in-law's home in Portland.  Not only is Amphicar Ride's rate cheaper, I don't have to worry about hiding my weirdness around my in-law's anymore.

I'll let you know when I finally get to go for that swim.